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Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Hollywood Meat Cleaver Massacre


1977-Directed by Evan Lee
Starring-Larry Justin and J. Arthur Craig
Opening this movie is Christopher Lee hanging out in his office telling you some story.
Then it's hitting the books, a professor is telling some kids about the occult. After class the professor is talking to some students, and one of them says his class is bullshit. There are some awesome mustaches. So while out on the town a couple of sleazy dudes one of which is the pissed off student are smoking and drinking...and of course driving around too. These guys are searching for the professor's house to cause a little havoc or better yet commit manslaughter. They break into the house and Mason the pissed off student and his friends go around killing the professor and his family. Each and every one of them the professor, his wife, son and daughter. Little did they expect but the professor is still alive, basically comatose but still kicking. Detective Wexler is in the hospital room with the professor and pulls out the only evidence. The evidence is a patch worn by non other than Mason and the professor sees this evidence. He knows who did it but cant communicate. He manages to communicate supernaturally with the dead and demands justice. All of the sleazy guys are in a dream sequence in a cemetery and mausoleum. The first of these guys goes to hang out in the desert. While there he hears voices, the voices of the dead. While freaking out his chest starts bleeding and intestines are showing like he got sliced open but no one's there. Spooky...one down three to go. Number two Straight Razor suicide in the bathroom. But how about this plot twist he can't go through with it because he's late for work (seriously that happens in the movie). At work as a mechanic you finally get to see him die, having the hood of a car repeatedly smashed on his body. Meanwhile detective Wexler is putting clues together looking for the killers. Will he get to them before they all mysteriously murdered by supernatural forces. Now for murderer number three.  He heads over to visit his prostitute friend, and they get all frisky. But before the action starts he starts getting all weird and bolts to go to work as a movie theater projectionist. After his shift ends things start getting strange he goes to fix the fuse box and it explodes, literally melting his face. Now only Mason is left will he survive? Wexler heads over to Mason's and explains to him that the professor is using occult powers to kill his three friends. The detective thinks the spells can be reversed. Mason looks to get the reversal spell, but Wexler is there and catches him red handed. So obviously Mason kills him. It's too late for him though the professor is too powerful. Now he hears the strange voices and screams too, it looks like his end is near. Finally the professor gets his revenge and a mixture of sasquatch and the jolly green giant comes out and tears Mason's eye out. But it was all in his head and now he's confined to a padded cell in a mental institution for life. How's that for revenge. Then the Christopher Lee closing. how can you beat that. The best part of this movie though is that it's called Hollywood Meat Cleaver Massacre aka Meatcleaver Massacre, but there isn't one meat cleaver in the whole damn movie. And without any further delay here's the movie link you can watch the whole thing right here. But beware of the occult you never know who's summoning the power of the dead.

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